Day 1 Recap

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The best of times because the basketball today was freaking amazing. Unfortunately, it was also the worst of times, because I sat through 438 promo's for Impractical Jokers. I get it, some strange white guys touch each other inappropriately in an attempt to make people laugh. I literally see that every time I hang out with my friends TruTV, I don't need it from you.

Before I get to the recap, a quick shout-out to the best NCAA Tournament commercial ever: O-B-J Oberto Beef Jerky! Personally, I think Dick Vitale played Dick Vitale really well in this spot. Brilliant!

Here's a quick statistical rundown on how the day went:

Total Entries: 222
Successful Entries: 155
Lousy Failures: 67
Percentage of Horrible Losers: 30%

So, to sum this up, you had one job to do on day one: Out of 16 games you simply needed to pick one winner. ONE WINNER. And, for 67 of you (should really say us, since I am among you) that was too hard. Things almost became way crazier too as UNC and Arkansas, the two most popular teams today, both pulled late game escapes.

Most of our losers have the Big 12 to blame. Oh Big 12, you certainly had most of us fooled this year. We wanted to believe in you, hell, some of us needed to believe in you. We needed something to believe in after all. Something that could make us feel better about our place on this crazy blue marble we call earth. So, we looked to the Midwest. The Midwest, where people are honest. Where people wake up early and work long hours. Where people help each other. Well, once again our trust was misplaced. Once again I feel lost, I feel hopeless, and I blame you Big 12. I think we all blame you for everything awful that's ever happened to any of us.

Oh, and twelve people got knocked out by this ridiculous goaltending call at the end of the SMU v UCLA game. I'm sure the 12 of you had reactions similar to THIS. Meanwhile, the five people that won on that call should probably continue to wear the same clothing tomorrow. Same everything. One of you has something on you that's incredibly lucky, so don't go and do something stupid like change, or shower, or shave, or any other insane thing you might be considering. Hell, don't brush your teeth, comb your hair, or anything else either. Luck is a fickle mistress and by angering her you could ruin everything. Do you want to ruin everything? Do you?

Some....I don't know the right word here.....credit? has to go to my brother Philip and my aunt Joni who picked 14 seeds that advanced on day 1. The good news is that they now sit firmly atop the leaderboard. The bad news is that submitting picks while you're drunk is a dangerous thing to do, and, while it worked this time, in the future it may not end so successfully. It's like juggling knives, sure, you look freaking awesome when you do it, but it's really easy to cut your hand off. You're not lizards guys. Hands don't grow back.....or do they?

For the 155 of you that are moving on, check the post below for the pick form for tomorrow. Also, keep in mind the leaderboard is HERE. Things are just getting started and regardless of what the Neon Trees tell you, it didn't start with a whisper. It started with something louder than that, like a normal voice, or something. Whatever. I'm going to bed.